This Is What Happens When You Take Your Terrible Ideas On The Road
Rules of the road? What rules?
These people live on the edge when it comes to transporting themselves and their belongings. Several metric tons of fruit? No problem! Just load it onto a sedan. Furniture? Just throw it in. Other cars? Livestock? Fellow humans? The more the merrier!
“But now we never have to buy fruit again! Which is good, because the car is no longer functional.”
“Honey? Yeah, I’m gonna be a few minutes late. I got stuck behind a house again.”
When threatened, the painted lumber bus will rear up on its hind wheels to intimidate its enemy.
“Everything I buy is expensive, so naturally, I treat it with the utmost respect.”
The carpool lane never specified what kinds of passengers are allowed.
“Bungee cords? Bungee cords are for the weak!”
“I really like what you’ve done with the place.”
“Well, of course we put the cow in a travel box. Do you think we really want to take an unnecessary risk?”
At midday, a wild straw pile gallops down the road, startling the goats.
I don’t know who’s classier.
“No, we can definitely put more on.”
“Sapling? Who would want a baby tree?”
“It gets great mileage, though.”
I’m still trying to figure out how that got in there.
But, no, seriously…
While delivering propane (and propane accessories), Bernie did his best to keep on top of his circus training.
“Bessie gets motion sickness in the car.”
“What do you mean I have to make a turn?”
Next time, George will invest in a skateboard to put under the AC unit.
“No, it’s fine. I was on the crew team in college. We just have to synchronize.”
“Well, how do you go to the beach?”
Snickers the Donkey, charged up after reading Karl Marx, decided to go on strike in the middle of the move. The humans just seemed to find it funny.
“Oh my God, Ryan. We’re going to be at the restaurant in like five minutes. I’m not buying you a snack.”
“Ha ha, we totally have the party bike.”
Carl took his job as a giant sausage delivery man very seriously.
Geraldine sighed in the back seat. “Oh well,” she thought, “It’s still better than a Fiat.”
“Now, we just need one more big truck for the bottom and a golf cart for the top and my Nesting Vehicles will be complete.”
The Green family took one-stop shopping very seriously. They would not emerge from their home after this trip for six to eight months.
“Careful, my brother. I fear our humans might be idiots.”
“It’s performance art. It’s about futility. It’s… okay, it was actually just a really, really bad idea.”
Images via Izismile